• Sharna Leanne

Solo parent .. Stop!

It’s 17.07 as I quickly write this post as I think it’s pretty relatable for solo parents, and to anyone who would like to take a little glimpse into it!

I’ve not just got one of the most important, hard, rewarding jobs of being a Mammy I also work part time albeit – but I still work. I’ve worked since I was 16 and couldnt not, for my own sanity! So Alden goes to a childminder two days a week – He loves it, so do I. I’ve just got in about an hour ago, and any mama will tell you it’s 100 times quicker to clean without a little person playing shadow. I love it when he’s always with me, but I feel guilty if I do ‘too much’ cleaning when he gets home or on my days off because i’d quite frankly rather spend time with him.

So it’s 17.08 now and one piece of advice I could give to anyone is to stop…

You see as a solo parent I literally don’t get any time off. Before Alden I was a super organised OCD type who loved everything in its place in order and even things being alphabetised or symmetrical made me happy. I persistently ran myself bloody ragged trying to keep up with the ‘old’ me. I just couldn’t do it, not with a baby. The whole sleep when the baby sleeps in an absolute load of bo***cks – theres no such thing for a solo parent because theres always another 173 items on the to do list. The advice from health visitors make sure you look after yourself have some me time. Like how, really, tell me when I can fit this in without needing to put a load of washing in, sterilise bottles, fold clothes, tidy my house so all the expectant visitors didn’t think I was untidy. These imaginary ‘spare’ minutes or hours are spent doing anything but looking after myself. I’m extremely lucky if Alden goes to sleep and I manage to squeeze a ‘mini’ bubble bath in – 9 times out of 10 I end up cutting that short as every mama will tell you that ‘is he calling me’ imaginary voice plays tricks on you LOL!

I’m not perfect, I’m far from it but I have a perfectionist personality which I fight with all the time – there is no such thing as perfect right?

It took me a hell of a long time to realise that having a ‘tidy’ home really isn’t the most important thing in my list of priorities – so it’s now 17.10 and I have a good 10mins to sit with a cuppa and a biscuit and literally do nothing. I’ve stopped – I’ve done enough tidying, there are still toys out of place but I tell myself to not get worked up because these 10 minutes may just be the only 10 mins I get this week – I wouldn’t change that for the world – but I no longer feel guilty for having this mini break from my 167 other tasks on my list. I deserve it. So does every other parent.